THE PRINCE OF THE SUBCONSCIOUS
eps.12

"What's the matter, baby, how's it looking so nervous right now?" I gently tried to ask, breaking the silence that was going on between us.

"Nothing pretty, I'm just a little tired, a lot of college work, baby." Yudha tries to evade.

But from his words I'm not sure, there must be something hidden from me. I try to believe his words. I swung spoiled in Yudha's arms, watching the fireworks downtown. I felt as if it was going to end, or maybe it was just my feeling. Hungry, Yudha took me to a restaurant not far from where we were watching. Our favorite food chicken runs out in an instant.

"Sadly there's something we need to talk about right now" Yudha said, holding my finger.

I flinched, could it be something that made him uneasy from home? But I tried to calm down, I wanted to hear what he was going to say.

"How important is it to make you nervous?" I said with a smile looking at him.

"It's about us baby, and the future of both of us. I beg you to understand me, dear,"

I just kept quiet and looked at him as if I was ready to hear what he was going to say. He slowly stroked my hair, then fell silent for a while, trying to gather his words one after another in order to say it. It must be something very difficult for us, and he must have been very waiting for my decision, but what is it? I can't guess it yet.

"Dear, I'm leaving, but please believe me, I love you so much and I'll be back for you." With great weight the words came out of Yudha's lips.

Feeling the lightning during the day, I could not believe what he was now saying, I looked at him gently, trying to find the truth of those words from the look in his eyes. And it looks like Yudha is not lying, this is serious. Yudha is leaving me? No way, what about me here? What about his college? Questions popped into my mind.

"My mother was sick, my grandmother asked us to come home so I could get treatment there so I had to keep her company. I've been taking care of my moving letter baby, sorry I just told you now. I hope you understand, baby?" Yudha said softly.

I felt no tears flowing, again I had to part with the person I loved so much. Don't I deserve to be happy to be by her side? Yudha hugged me with all her love. I know we love each other very much, but this may be a test of our love's loyalty. It's very hard for us to part.

"When did it go?" I asked on the sidelines of my crying.

"Tomorrow afternoons baby, but relax, I will come here often to visit you, and not your father and mother also in Jakarta? Hopefully we can meet there" said Yudha again strengthen me.

The mother of Yudha's father does live in Jakarta, her father and mother are married and live in Bali because her father works here. I did tell Yudha that I was from Jakarta, but I never said I had a twin brother.

I drove Yudha to the airport, not wanting to be separated from her. But when I hugged her mother, it was as if I couldn't see her in this state. I cried in Yudha's arms.

"Don't be sad baby, I'll come back for you, trust me. I love you so much and will remain faithful." she whispered as she hugged me.

His hand clasped my hand tightly, then gave me a small box.

"This is proof of my love and promise to you dear," Yudha said again as she kissed my cheek wet with tears.

I nodded as I received the box given by Yudha, the granddaughter of her hand and I hugged her very tightly.

"I trust you Yudha, I will wait for you!" I said with a smile in my tears. He waved his hand as he climbed the stairs of the Garuda plane that would take them to Jakarta. My heart aches, I cannot accept this reality, but I must be strong, because I will definitely go to Jakarta as well.

*****

Days change, and months change. It was not felt like Yudha had been gone for a year. A few months ago we were still telling each other. But for almost a month there was no news from Yudha. I tried to send a message but not in reply, my phone was never picked up. Auntie said, maybe Yudha was busy taking care of her mother and her college, let alone this last semester. I tried to believe his promise first, I believe he still loves me even though the distance separates us both.

"Hi ma'am doctor, miss Yudha?"

A voice roused me from my daydream. I turned my head, Vareel, my classmate was standing right behind me holding the book he had just picked up from the table. I smiled shyly, shaking my head.

"No lie to Alen, I know you miss Yudha."

Back he teased me while ruffling my hair. I was close to Vareel from the beginning of college. He once said he liked me, but after knowing that I was Yudha's lover, he chose to be my best friend. Even sometimes Yudha gets jealous if I go home with Vareel.

"Had known it again Var, I must have missed Yudha. She's my lover, especially now that we're far apart, even worse!" I said with a smile.

"Focus on learning Alen, let alone the final task, I brought you the book you asked for" Vareel said, handing over the book in his hand.

I'm working on my final assignment, so I should have plenty of references. I tried to focus on my final task, while waiting for news from Yudha. But in vain, it has been 5 months without news, I just stick around waiting for him.

Tonight I pondered in the room, has something happened to Yudha until she has not contacted me? Or is he intentionally ignoring me? I remember the box Yudha gave me just before her first flight. I went to the desk drawer, I took the purple box slowly, I opened the contents. A very sweet ring. I smiled, I tried to put the ring on my ring finger. Very pretty ring, but my heart was crying, I wanted the giver beside me, I needed him, I missed the owner.

Two crystal clear drops were rushing down my cheeks, I quickly wiped them away while grabbing my phone which suddenly rang. I saw the name of the caller, I was disappointed, not the person I was expecting, but the twins. Such is the writing on my phone, at times like this I will definitely smile with silly stories from Elen, it's like my cure, there's just a way to make me smile.

"Sister, how are you? I suddenly missed my sister, so I called. Did something happen, brother, I feel it?" Elen's soft voice greeted me and showered me with questions that I sometimes thought were strange. But maybe this is the uniqueness of twins, if one is sick, the other must feel it.

"Sir is okay Elen, just a little unwell," I tried to dodge, but the basic Elen, just continued to investigate me until I finally decided to tell the truth.

"Sabar aja kak, especially if he has promised, surely it will be obeyed. The important thing is to trust each other, brother," said Elen sounding trying to strengthen me.

"Sister after graduation to Jakarta first yes, there will be someone who wants Elen to know to sister, can ya sis?" Said spoiled Elen.

Hmmm started to seduce her story. But indeed I already have plans to go back to Jakarta before entering work here because there is a hospital that has offered me work.

"Definitely your lover who you want to know with brother? Ciee already has a boyfriend, too, my dear. What's his name, baby, how's the guy?" Again I showered Elen with questions and teased him.

"Secret, if you already know the name of your lover, I will also tell you the name of my boyfriend. But not now brother, not exciting if by phone. I want my brother to Jakarta first just exciting!" Elen started acting up again, there was only his request.

I also agree with his request. Again we told him many things, until I did not hear the voice that replied to me again, I slowly disconnected the phone. Elen must have fallen asleep there. I glanced at the wall clock, it was 23:00, it was worth Elen sleeping, it was already late. I turned off the room lights and then fell asleep very soundly, I forgot all my troubles.