The Blocked Love of Amnesia
Eleven: Letting Him go and His Presence

Bismillaahirrahmaanirrahim. Assalamu'alaikum warahmatullahi. Happy reading. Don't forget to read the previous episode. Be prepared to let baperrrrrr.

* * *

I approached Andrea who was sitting in the puskesmas garden. He looked at the stars in the night sky.

"It was beautiful tonight, yes" I said, then sat down beside him.

"Beautiful to some and dark to the one who loses,"

"Sometimes, love can't all be had, you know. Love, hmmm ..the strange sting that flows due to the encounter of two humans. And that sting doesn't need to be had to keep growing in the heart. One can love, really, love another person. You can love him too. But, .. not necessarily he can have it. Likewise, on the contrary, a person can have but not necessarily he can love. You've nitipin that strange sting in my heart. I just realized that. And you don't have to have me. Because that sting from you is more than enough. I don't need to have you. Because now I've owned someone else."

I'm down. My tears are falling.

"We take care of that sting. But that doesn't mean letting it grow" I continued.

"Because if this is His way. Me, you, or no one will be able to oppose Him. Because it was a voice. Which can't be bothered."

I took my breath. "I just found out that I love you too" I continued.

Andrea. Eyes glazed.

"But I'm aware. This love is not love from Him. And I'm trying to save this love without losing it, not letting it grow."

Andrea took a breath. Then smile. "I'm happy, it turns out you have the same taste of me. Thanks, Risa. I'm not gonna throw this sting. Also, won't let him grow."

"Thank you, you know."

Andrea nodded then shrunk her tears.

"Sirut not crying, dong. Later this secretary is sad follow."

"Hahaha," Andrea laughed. Although I know, behind the laughter lies millions of kilos of grief that incriminates him.

Ting.

Ita called.

I immediately picked it up.

"Hallo,"

"Risaaa. Are you getting to sit? How's your Mom? I hope he's healthy soon, yes."

"Aamiinu. Thanks Ita Sarita."

"Please please don't call me Ita Sarita. Especially if you call Ita Sarita Sarkonah Bint Odah Muthmainnah Al-Maesaroh Ulala Beybeh. The tampol cave, you!!!"

"Hehehe,"

"Tomorrow I'll go there, yeah. Tomorrow there is a red date. Pleaseee."

"Later to share my address with you, yeah."

"Wait a minute,"

"Hold on, yeah. Bye,"

"That's arrogant. Yawah, byeah."

"Eh yes forget, Assalamu'alaikum,"

"Tumbens. Haha. Yes yes, wa'alaikumussalam."

Closed my phone.

"Who?" ask Andrea.

"Ita," I replied.

"What always says is that I look like Sehun, yeah!" said Andrea. I laugh.

Thanks Allah. May Andrea be happy. And may I soon cultivate the care of Your love.

"Teeeeeh," my sister's Rina yelled at me as she ran over.

"What's up, Rin?"

"Mom, Tea. Mother ...," tasngisnya.

I shook my head then immediately entered the puskesmas, heading for Mother's room on the second floor.

"Mom!" my yelling. Ahmad was beside Mother and muttered the asthma of Allah beside Mother's ear.

"Yes ...." Mom took her breath. "Rise,"

I approached then clasped Mom's hand and kissed her with sadness.

"Sorry, dear Mother,"

"Mom don't have to apologize, Risa's the one who should be apologizing, ma'am."

"You are a good woman. Always with Mom. Thank you, I have only one message for you. You must obey your husband, yes. Because the wife's paradise is with her husband. Thanks, yeah, son." Mom took a deep breath. "Laa Ilaa Ha Illallaah, Muhammadarrasulullah,"

Mom closed.

"Momuuu," I shouted.

At that instant, this health center was filled with streams of tears that welled up.

* * *

I sat down to hug Rendi, my 2-year-old sister. O Allah, my brother is now an Orphan. Poor him.

Rendi hugged me tightly. I was very close to him. From yesterday I did not meet with Rendi, because Rendi was entrusted by Rina to her father Ahmad. At that time it was chaotic, all Rina had in mind was Ahmad's family, so he asked them for help. The rendition is nurtured there.

And now I can meet him. My brother is now an orphan.

Rina stroked my shoulders, trying to tell me to be sincere and firm. Although I know, she was also very devastated by Mother's departure.

I looked towards Rina and then hugged her. Lina, you are my very strong sister. During my time in Jakarta, he took care of Mom, Reki and Rendi. Reki is now 5 years old, and Rendi is 2 years old. While Rika and Rita, the twins were in boarding school.

They told me at the time, "if Risa Tea is in town. Rika same Rita wants to enter the boarding school, yes. So that Tea Rina is not overwhelmed our ngurusin. Can, right?"

I hugged them. "May dong" I replied at the time.

Rina is still in 3rd grade Junior High. And he takes care of our family. I am grateful to have a sister like her. Mature and godly.

I've been crying here for almost half an hour, everyone's home. Except me, Rendi, Ahmad, Andrea, and Rina. While Rika, Rina and Reki (three of my sisters) have gone home with their mother Ahmad. My in-laws.

"Teh, let's go home," asked Lina gently.

I nodded weakly.

"Rendi, come here, you are the same A Ahmad, yes," said Ahmad. Rendi according, then he carried Ahmad. Ahmad walked first.

I smiled, Ahmad turned out to be a humble man and seemed to be easily familiar with children. I glanced at Andrea. He smiled, then opened his sunglasses.

"Euuu, if so, I'll go home, Ris."

I jerked. "Come home?"

"Yes, I'm the boss." Further. Andrea, I'd love to hug you. But, what is the ethical of a married wife embracing a man who is not her husband?

I smiled wryly.

"See you, yeah." Then he waved his hand.

I'm nodding. "Thank you, yeah."

"Together,"

Andrea walked. Left me. I held back the sobbing. Afraid that my cry might be heard by Rina.

Oh God, I lost Mom, I lost someone I loved. I lost her too. But I am sure, O Allah, You sent Ahmad for me. That's the best. I'm sure it is.

Me and Rina walked over, following Ahmad and Rendi who had reached the cemetery gate.

I saw Andrea shaking hands with Ahmad. Ahmad hugged Andrea warmly and they parted ways.

My lips vibrate. It feels so stifling.

* * *

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Wednesday, 8 Jan 2020

Signed:

@tomi_omay