Regrets
Chapter 15

Dhanny's application to Shalimar went well in accordance with Dhanny's wishes. Both of Dhanny's parents also seem not to demean the Shalimar family. Although Shalimar could see Dhanny's mother did not have any expression for her. But Mother Dhanny did not give a contemptuous look to her.

Dhanny's mother wore a soft pink canal that was so graceful and elegant, Dhanny's mother's hair was arranged beautifully sideways, making Dhanny's mother's face look much younger than her age, dhanny's mother also wore simple jewelry but it looks so fitting on her body does not look excessive even though Shalimar knows if the jewelry worn by Dhanny's mother certainly has a value that Shalimar does not want to imagine. Dhanny's father was wearing a dark blue batik shirt, Dhanny's tall and well-built father's body also looked so harmonious side by side with Dhanny's mother.

For a moment Shalimar felt so inferior when both of Dhanny's parents came, but the attitude of both of Dhanny's parents did not demean Shalimar and the Shalimar family at all. It makes Shalimar not regret his decision to open a new page of his life together with Dhanny. It's just that Shalimar feels guilty to both parents Dhanny, however he has lied to both parents Dhanny about the true status of Shalimar.

Shalimar looks at his mother who looks happy to see Dhanny's parents who look so appreciative to his family. Different from the Rendy family.

After the application is over and the date of Dhanny and Shalimar's wedding is set, Dhanny and her family say goodbye to Shalimar's mother.

"They're different from the Rendy family." Shalimar's mother said when the Dhanny family was no longer in their home.

"We can't know for sure, Ma. I hope it's like that." Reply Shalimar while cleaning what is on the living room table.

"They're different. Trust me." Shalimar's mother said as she patted Shalimar's shoulder a little hard.

"They don't even want to show them from the family that is. Even if it cannot be covered. I wouldn't have approved this proposal if they were like Rendy's family back then. I'm also sure Dhanny will treat you kindly and sincerely. If not, I won't hand you over to Dhanny." Continue Shalimar's mother while glancing sharply at Shalimar.

"Dhanny even gave up what she had to her parents as a condition to marry you. Do you think that's easy? While all this time he always lived with the all-sufficient conditions of the business owned by his family. He gave it up just to get the blessing of his parents." Shalimar's mother helps Shalimar clean the dirty dishes on the table while still saying what Dhanny has done.

"I know." Shalimar with brief.

"You're taking it because you want revenge on Rendy or do you love her?" Shalimar's mother asked suddenly.

A question that seemed to trap Shalimar's heart.

"I .. I obviously didn't accept Dhanny for revenge on Rendy. I don't have a grudge for Rendy, Ma." Shalimar answered without looking at his mother.

"Does that mean you love her?" Ask Shalimar's mother again trying to get a definite answer from Shalimar.

Shalimar can't tell the truth that he really loves Dhanny or feels sorry for what Dhanny has done for him all along.

"Hm." Shalimar replied with a murmur.

"The answer is for sure." Pinta Shalimar's mother while pulling Shalimar's hand and making Shalimar face to face with her.

"Yes. Is my mom satisfied?" Reply Shalimar reluctantly then busied himself again while cleaning things on the living room table.

Without Shalimar and Shalimar's mother realizing, outside Dhanny listens to what Shalimar and Shalimar's mother are talking about. Dhanny deliberately turned back to Shalimar's house to retrieve his belongings left behind in Shalimar's house.

Shalimar still doubts his own feelings towards Dhanny, though Shalimar accepts himself not for revenge against Rendy. Dhanny knows it from the beginning , it's what makes Dhanny not want to give up , Dhanny sure can make Shalimar really love her . Only himself. Dhanny will erase Rendy's memories in Shalimar's life. That was Dhanny's determination from today while clenching her hands.

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Eva finds out about the proposal made by the Dhanny family to Shalimar. Eva cannot go further because her family has been against her relationship with Dhanny since Dhanny cut off their relationship in front of her parents.

Eva is still thinking of other ways to prevent Dhanny from getting married to Shalimar. If Eva cannot have Dhanny, then Shalimar can't either.

It is impossible if Shalimar sincerely loves Dhanny as he does. Eva was sure of that . Eva digs up information about Shalimar, until finding out about rumors that Shalimar was once married and had children. But why does Dhanny still keep clean and want to marry Shalimar ? And Dhanny's parents don't mind about it? After this Eva seeks more accurate information about Shalimar. Dhanny and Shalimar's marriage must not take place as long as Eva is still breathing.

This time Eva will earnestly find out the truth about Shalimar and reveal it to Dhanny as well as the Dhanny family. Even if Dhanny chooses Shalimar, Eva will bring ruin to everything when she cannot achieve the happiness of Shalimar.

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The news that Dhanny and Shalimar will soon be married spreads like a strong wind, although surprised but all of Shalimar's coworkers provide support for Shalimar as well as Dhanny. For a time Shalimar was not allowed to work by Dhanny and also Shalimar's mother during the preparation of their marriage.

Dhanny really takes care of Shalimar, not being out of her sight for a while until their wedding day arrives.

If Dhanny can't be next to Shalimar, Dhanny will ask Mei for help to accompany Shalimar. Not giving Shalimar a chance to meet with Rendy even though Rendy repeatedly wants to see Shalimar.

"May, am I the only one who feels like I'm on the bridle right now?" Shalimar asked Mei as they walked in a shopping mall.

"What do you mean?" Mei asked back with her innocent attitude.

"Lately Dhanny has been too possessive of me. If not with her, I'm always with you. I feel like I don't have my own time. Not like before." Shalimar replied feeling that there was something covered by his best friend this time.

"Of course you'll feel that way, before you were very free , this time you'll be officially married to someone. This is known to many parties. You know .. It's kind of a psychic pressure that usually occurs when someone will get married after a long time single." Reply Mei tries to be rational to Shalimar so that Shalimar does not suspect what he has done so far to avoid Rendy meeting with Shalimar and do the thing that makes Shalimar cancel his marriage to Dhanny.

Shalimar nodded in agreement to the answer from Mei , although his heart still felt awkward about something.

"Oh yeah, aren't you having dinner today with Dhanny's parents? Have you prepared anything you'll bring for Dhanny's parents, what will you wear tonight?" Mei Tanya tried to distract Shalimar.

Shalimar just remembered that moment . Her marriage to Dhanny was only a matter of days. This has been approved by both Dhanny's parents and Shalimar's mother.

If Dhanny and Eva's wedding plans are three months apart, Dhanny and Shalimar's wedding has accelerated to one month since Dhanny officially proposed to Shalimar. Shalimar had met Dhanny's parents several times, and their meeting still felt awkward. This time he'll meet Dhanny's parents again. This frustrates him. Shalimar still feels that if Dhanny's parents don't like her ', Shalimar doesn't even know what to do with Dhanny's parents. Shalimar can't pretend to look so good and perfect in front of Dhanny's parents, but he can't show his true self in front of them either.

"I haven't prepared anything yet, May. I feel very frustrated if I have to see them again." Shalimar complains with agitated eyes in May.

"Are they not being nice to you like Rendy's parents? Or are they putting you down?" Mei asked with an attitude of protecting Shalimar.

"No.. It's not like that. They were nice and polite to me, but I felt it was awkward for me. It felt like I was just a guest there. I feel .. I'm not totally accepted by them." Answer Shalimar who started feeling inferior .

"Maybe it's just your feeling." Mei said she was trying to provide moral support for Shalimar.

"Are you going to live with Dhanny's parents after you get married?" Ask May .

"No. Dhanny told me, if we're going to stay at Dhanny's house. We're not gonna live in Dhanny's parents' house." Shalimar replied remembering what Dhanny had promised him.

"Dhany know about what you're feeling ? Or know about how her parents behaved like this to you?"

"Dhanny's too good to me, May. He accepted me with imperfect conditions, he preferred me and let go of the more perfect of me. Honestly, I feel happy and overwhelmed at the same time. Dhanny was willing to give up everything just to get the blessing of her parents to marry me. He also thought about how his parents would treat him if we got married, thought about how I felt, and decided to keep the house he had so that I wouldn't have to be on one roof with his parents. His love was blind to me, but did not give up respect to his parents. The more he was kind to me, the more burdened I felt. I don't know, May. I feel like if I want to end all this but I don't want to lose either." Shalimar looked blankly as he said that to Mei.

Mei understands the dilemma experienced by Shalimar.

"When she was with Rendy, she didn't admit you, hiding her marriage with you . The Rendy family doesn't accept you either. After that he never even protected you. Now that Dhanny comes with all his opposite goodness to Rendy, he can give you what Rendy hasn't given you all this time. And you feel unworthy of Dhanny?"

Mei does not get an answer from Shalimar , Mei takes a deep breath and tries to cool her mind.

"Who do you deserve? As Aabid's mother you feel unworthy, as Rendy's wife you also feel unworthy, now you also feel unworthy to be with Dhanny." May's protest of Shalimar's mindset that so puts her at a low position every time Shalimar feels depressed.

"Shally, listen to me." Mei said as she cupped Shalimar's face to face him.

"You are precious. You have to love yourself, you have to respect yourself. Whatever your status is, you are a precious person, you deserve to be loved, you deserve to be happy, you deserve to live the life you dream of. We can't change the mass, all you need to do is keep going today and tomorrow until death. Do what your heart says without listening to what others say to you. You live your life, not theirs. Don't waste your life with shallow thoughts like this. Don't regret things you didn't do because of your thoughts. Right now Dhanny is willing to do everything for you, she sincerely loves you, are you going to close your eyes to that? Don't you love Dhanny too?"

Shalimar does not answer Mei's question, but Shalimar's teary eyes make Mei know Shalimar's answer.

"You love her too, only you're afraid that you don't deserve her. You just feel like you're going to be a burden on her life. You're just trying to find a defense of yourself that's cowardly because of the mass you've been through. You didn't give yourself a chance just because you felt you couldn't give the same to Dhanny. All you need to do is repay her love with the feelings you have for Dhanny." Mei's word was trying to convince Shalimar of the doubts that Shalimar had in mind all this time.

"I'm scared, May." Shalimar said at the end while biting his lower lip which started to tremble as it held back his tears from falling.

"The more I want to be happy and it comes to me, I get scared. I'm afraid if it's all just a blink of an eye. I'm afraid if then everything happens again, I'll be completely destroyed."

"You have to be sure of your own decisions, you must be happy. You can see what Dhanny's been doing to you all this time. It's not a joke, Shally. Even if the thing you're afraid of happens, you've prepared yourself. You won't be ruined. There I am at your side. I'm not leaving you." Mei said while fondling Shalimar's arm warmly.

Shalimar nodded his head and smiled towards Mei, indicating that he was starting to set his heart to Dhanny.

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Both of Dhanny's parents seem more accepting of Shalimar this time. When Shalimar came, Dhanny's mother had already started to soften and gave a smile to Shalimar even though that smile was present in just a blink of an eye.

"Your wedding will be in a few days. Are your wedding preparations really done perfectly?" Ask Dhanny's father to Dhanny and Shalimar.

"Already ,Pa. Everything is ready perfectly." Dhanny replied with a big smile to her father.

"And you also don't forget what you promised Papa and Mama. You're gonna give up all the assets you got from Papa's company and the company, too." Continue Dhanny's father.

"Of course I remember, Pa. I'll keep it." Reply Dhanny so confidently before his father.

Shalimar was worried about being happy and feeling guilty. Because of her, Dhanny must give up everything that Dhanny has just to get the blessing of her parents.

Dhanny looked at Shalimar and found out what Shalimar was thinking. Dhanny grasped Shalimar's hand gently.

A simple yet meaningful touch to Shalimar.

Despite being in front of her parents, Dhanny does not forget her.

Dhanny's mother saw her son as well as the woman her son loved. Dhanny's mother can see how Dhanny loves Shalimar so much. And for now Dhanny's mother sees Shalimar as being sincere to Dhanny. But Dhanny's mother still wants to make sure of something else about Shalimar.

"Oh yeah, mom and dad just discussed it a few days ago. You asked that the house you live in be included in the exception. We thought, 'it might not be possible for us to fulfill." Said Dhanny's mother casually as she put down the spoon and fork she had been holding.

Her mother's statement made Dhanny look directly at her mother.

"But ,Ma. Didn't we agree to this before?" Dhanny protested but kept calm.

"That house also includes assets you made from the company." Reply to Dhanny's father who understands his wife's mind.

"Where should we stay?" Asked Dhanny while frowning his forehead.

"You can stay with us here, or it's up to you." Answer Dhanny's father.

"But .." Not yet Dhanny continues her objection, Shalimar touches Dhanny's arm.

"We'll be staying in my parents' house for a while." Said Shalimar who felt that maybe this was the decision he had to make this time.

"It can't be like this, Shally." This time Dhanny raised his objection to Shalimar's decision.

"You've decided everything yourself, can't I make a decision this time?" Shalimar asked while whispering to Dhanny as if giving Dhanny confidence in the steadiness of her heart for their relationship this time.

Hearing this, Dhanny undoes her intention to protest the decision of her parents.

"To be fair, maybe you can stay a few days at Shalimar's parents' house and a few days here." Dhanny's mother started proposing what she was thinking these few days.

"At least , mama also wants to know what your daughter-in-law looks like." Continue Dhanny's mother before getting a protest from Dhanny.

"All right." Shalimar agreed to Dhanny's mother's request while smiling warmly.

Dhanny is shocked at what Shalimar told her mother. Dhanny saw the look of convinced eyes from Shalimar.

Dhanny's mother smiled even though she was hidden. While this may seem like a war between Shalimar and Dhanny's mother, there is a hidden meaning behind it all.

"We'll continue with dinner." Said Dhanny's father breaking the silence that happened in those few seconds.

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Shalimar smiled looking at the reflection of his face in the mirror, Shalimar knew that both of Dhanny's parents had accepted him. A few more days, the day of her wedding to Dhanny . He felt so pounding every time he remembered that day was coming. Although this was not the first time he was married. This is the first time Shalimar has married so many people.

Shalimar's gaze shifted from the mirror before him to his cellphone screen that suddenly lit up. Rendy sent him a message.

Shalimar deliberately ignores the messages sent by Rendy or calls from Rendy. Although Shalimar felt that there was something important that Rendy wanted to convey to him.

Accidentally, Shalimar sees a message sent by Rendy.

Even if you hate me, I want to see you one last time. There's something I want to say. You need to find out the truth that Dhanny and Mei have been trying to hide from you all along. If you don't want to see me. You should listen to the tape I sent you

Reading a message from Rendy , Shalimar who was preparing - ready to dress up, immediately listened to the recording that Rendy sent to him.

A recording of Rendy and Mei's conversation when Rendy comes to Mei's house under the pretext of wanting Mei to help her to cancel Shalimar and Dhanny's wedding.

Shalimar was really surprised by what he was listening to . The tape was not a fabrication, Shalimar knew the sound of May . The fact about Mei and Rendy having a relationship before her together with Rendy, the reality of what Dhanny and Mei planned for Dhanny to marry her. Shalimar felt empty for a moment. What he wants to believe and what he wants to deny, seems to be mixed into one.

Why should he know when he will achieve his happiness a little more with Dhanny. What Shalimar had in mind was to meet Mei to ask her many things that were currently flogging in her brain. When Shalimar stood up from his seat, Mei entered Shalimar's room.

"Where are you going?" Mei asked when she saw Shalimar's face so tense and pale.

Shalimar was speechless when Mei was actually in front of him. All Shalimar did was play back the sound recordings that Rendy had sent him.

Listening to what Rendy sent to Shalimar, Mei's face looked pale instantly. He should have realized by then that Rendy had come to him not to ask him for help, but to trap him.

"Shally, listen to my explanation." Said Mei trying to give her explanation to Shalimar.

"Why haven't you told me this before? You have a lot of time to tell me? Do you really have a purpose of your own by waiting for me to be destroyed?" Shalimar asked with eyes that were starting to feel hot by tears.

"Do you think I really want to destroy you? If I wanted to do that, why would I have to watch you stay with Rendy? I really love you. I don't want to lose my best friend just for the sake of my one-handed love. Dhanny also really loves you, Shally . Dhanny is sincere to you, we have no intention to play you." Mei said as she approached Shalimar.

Shalimar took one step back.

"Don't come near me." Shalimar warned May 'May could see the wounds on Shalimar's eyes.

"You and Dhanny are the same." Shalimar said as he walked past Mei.

"Where are you going, Shally?" Mei tried to follow Shalimar's steps so quickly.

"I'm going to cancel this marriage . Everything you've done to me this whole time, it's all fake." Shalimar said as she brushed off Mei's hand trying to stop her.

"Hate me . Dhanny's innocent, she's innocent from the beginning to the present." Mei is still trying to get in Shalimar's way when Shalimar gets in his car and doesn't care about her.

After Shalimar left with his car . Mei could not hold back her falling tears all of a sudden. He should have been able to prevent this from happening before Shalimar's wedding. With a crush on , Mei retrieves the phone from her pocket and directly contacts Dhanny . But Dhanny did not answer the call from him.

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