My Honorary Owner
Towards the Big City

Ms. Rahma came back while carrying a small square-shaped box in her hand. He came up to me, opened the little box in front of you.

I saw Ms. Rahma take out the contents inside the box. White necklace with pendant initialized letter A and a letter whose paper already looks outdated.

“Mother found you in front of this Orphanage, 20 years ago. You were only about three months old at the time. I know your date of birth and your name from the birth certificate tucked inside the blanket that covers your body at that time.” Madam Rahma paused her words.

“And here, I found these two things in your baby basket!” Ms. Rahma handed me a necklace, a birth certificate and a folded letter.

I slowly opened the yellowed folds of the letter due to age. I dare not open the letter. Afraid to accept the fact that I was just a child whose presence was not desired by my parents. For a moment I was silent. Thoughts and feelings become erratic. Do I know who I am.

“Open, Son! Maybe that could be a clue for you.” Madam Rahma strengthened me. He stroked my back softly and full of tenderness.

Slowly, courage opened the letter.

Allura .. baby, mama's daughter, I'm sorry. Not that mom doesn't love you. But mama has to hide you from something you don't understand yet, son.

Mama hope you become a strong and strong child in living your life.

Your presence means so much to your mother. Your papa would also be happy if you were still breathing to this day. Unfortunately he did not know, mama deliberately covered it because of something that someday mama will tell me if we meet.

I'm sorry you can't keep up with the flowers, son. But here, mom will always pray for you, wishing you the best is always there, son. May God and Mother take good care of you.

I hope you can forgive my mother. Mama loves you.

Allura Charya daughter mom. I hope we can meet again someday.

My chest was tight as I read verse by verse written on that piece of paper.

It hurts to accept the reality, if I can choose better I know I'm an orphan than I know the truth.

Having both parents is complete but not knowing who they are.

These tears I can't stand.

I could only duck, clutching tightly onto the necklace in this hand. Why is life so cruel. If my presence is undesirable to this world, why not just get rid of myself since I was still in the womb. So that I do not accept such a harsh reality. Desiring the affection of parents from small.

My body trembled with my sobs. I shed the pain, the sadness, the disappointment of that moment.

Madam Rahma pulled me into her arms.

“Cry if it will make you feel relieved!” said Ms. Rahma to me.

I quickly embraced the body of the woman who had been caring for and raising me like her own child.

“I'm sorry, Mom! I'm just giving this to you now. Maybe with this you can find your family. You can be happy when you meet them.” Ms. Rahma continued to calm me down while softly speaking my shoulders that went up and down as my crying still did not subside.

“He wasn't expecting me, Mom! My own mother dumped me. Why am I looking for them if I am not expected, or I am an illegitimate child that they throw away,” said I who slowly released myself from the arms of Ms. Rahma.

“huss ... Don't talk like that! We don't know why your mama put you in this place.” Madam Rahma tried to calm me down. But it feels free disappointment has enveloped this succum.

I looked up, looking at Madam Rahma. ”If only, it would be my mother?” Madam Rahma smiled at my words.

“Loh ... You are your mother, you are your mother's son! Mother who has cared for and raised you!” said Ms. Rahma while smiling warmly at me.

I hugged Rahma tightly. As if unwilling to let go. I can not deny, all this time, Ms. Rahma ‘ who took care and gave love to me and other orphanage children, until now. But in this heart I also want to feel the affection of my own biological parents.

“Thank you, Mom. I'm taking care of me!”

“Have it, don't cry! He said he wanted to be independent, how to be this crybaby, embarrassed by the other sisters.” Ms. Rahma let go of my embrace and then wiped the tears that were still on this cheek.

At Orphanage all children are like their own children to him. He taught us to be independent children and not spoiled, good at being grateful and taught to be honest.

“Mother can only pray for you, may wherever you are, always in the protection of Allah SWT. Keep your prayers, keep your attitude too, especially to men! God will test your youth by bringing in someone who makes you fall in love. As if he brings love but in fact only obedience.” Ms. Rahma advised me.

I shook my head slowly. There is guilt in this heart hearing the advice of Ms. Rahma. I can't even resist the expression of love from Farrel, who to this day hasn't had any news for me. Was I wrong from the beginning to accept his love. I wish Farrel could give me on the path of happiness.

I hurried over to Bu Rahma into a medium-sized room. The room was filled with only four people. I am a more mature resident than the others. Three of them are Laila who still sits in the fifth grade of Elementary School, Naima in the 6th grade of Primary School, and Ismi 2nd grade of Upper Middle School. Ismi went to school with me.

We both got into the same school through the Scholarship program obtained from the previous school. In addition, I and Ismi are foster children from the Orphanage of Love so there is a ration for each Orphanage to enroll their foster children to the favorite school. Fortunately we both entered into outstanding students, so we could deliver without rations from our school through the Scholarship track, not from the social change track. Although sometimes very visible differences in treatment from students who have power and money.

Ms. Rahma is still accompanying and helping me pack the items that will be brought to Jakarta. He sat on the side of a mini-size bed, only able to sleep for one person.

“Do you have a place to stay while in Jakarta, Ra?” ma'am Rahma asked while putting some of our belongings into a big bag.

“Already, Mom! I'll go with a friend first. He contracted there.”

“Either why, it feels like Mom still isn't willing to let you go, Ra? But I don't want to keep you here either! you have to look for a better life out there,” he said in a sad, restrained tone.

“Mommy remembers very well, several times you tried to reject foster parents who would adopt you. You always behave naughty and difficult to manage, making those who had chosen you undo his intention to adopt you!” Ms. Rahma paused her words. I saw him shed tears that he immediately wiped so I wouldn't see him. But it was too late to see that. I kept listening to Rahma speak.

“That's all just your original behavior so they don't raise you as a child!” Ms. Rahma immediately stopped her movements while she was pensive, reminiscing about the events of the past and smiling bitterly.

I quickly embraced the woman's body. We hugged again to express the affection we had always felt.

“Mother's services I will never forget. If there was no you how would I be, Mom! Thank you!” I said softly between my arms to her.

The day of departure arrived. The car travel charter was ready to wait for him in front of the Orphanage.

Soon I will leave this place, the place where I grew up.

Ms. Rahma and a few foster sisters escorted me away. It was so hard to leave this place. A place that bears witness to my journey.

It's all happening, there's no way I'm always here. I want my life to be better, until one day I will bring Mom Rahma with my happiness.

“Bu, Lura go first!” I grabbed Rahma's right hand, then kissed her reverently.

“Be careful yes, Ra. Take care!” Madam Rahma hugged me tightly while gently stroking my back.

It's heavy, I'll miss this touch very much. Sengajaku took time off to feel the warmth of Ms. Rahma's embrace.

Until the call of the driver who resuscitated me.

Removing Ms. Rahma's embrace, prayers and wishes come from the woman who has always given us her true love. The children he raised.

Not many people took me away this morning. The other foster sister is still in the school environment. Only Ms. Rahma and Febi were faithful to deliver me.

“Don't forget to call us, yes , Brother!” Shouted Febi, the smallest orphanage child, among all the orphanage children. A hand from him let go of me to Jakarta City.

Without a sound just a drop of tears that fell again accompanied this separation. I returned the wave of Febi's hand.

Now I am preparing to make my way to the great city where I will fight for my future

Seriate.

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