Tales
Sense (finished )

🌺 hem... 🌺

* * *

Santi sat pensively in front of the dresser, staring at the reflection in the mirror.

His face was swollen because of the tears that kept flowing without pause.

'' Heru has another woman ''

Santi clenched the hand he put on the table.

His eyes were firmly closed.

His heart ached, remembering what his in-laws said earlier this afternoon.

" i was actually hesitant to tell you.

But they say, 'You deserve to know and you are also the one who has the most right to decide.

So I won't interfere either.

And I will also accept and respect whatever your decision will be ''

Said the in-law at the end of the conversation .

Santi's cry broke. He nodded, with both palms cupping his face. His body trembled along with the sound of his cries that rang out of the room.

It felt very difficult to be digested by his common sense.

The pain really hurts. He had never felt this sick in his entire life. Even breathing is difficult. I think he just wants to close his eyes.

And if I could never make it again.

' kreeettt' the sound of the door along with the voice he had heard saying greetings .

Santi straightened up while wiping away her tears. He felt nervous as the footsteps grew closer.

'' mah '' that figure appeared and stopped in the mouth of the door.

Santi twisted his body, staring at the husband with tears that were still flowing despite trying to hold him.

"Didn't s**does he have to be out of town now ? But why did he come home ?

And again, where are the kids at this hour not home** ? "

Right now, his mind and conscience are raging inside. A million questions were approaching and filling his head.

'' I don't want to believe what I heard.

Does this mean, all the mother's words are true ?

But why, pah ? Why can papah be this same as mamah ? ''

Santi looked at Heru. Vice versa.

Both are in their respective positions.

Heru's gaze looks sad, finding the wife's face covered with both red eyes.

I don't know how long his wife has been crying.

Heru was about to approach, but Santi asked him to stay where he was.

His heart is broken . Not only because of seeing the messy state of Santi but also because of the rejection of the wife just now.

" ah '' again Heru tried to express what he wanted to say. But his tongue was muddled when he saw the hollow look in Santi's eyes.

Though he is usually welcomed by his wife with a smile every time he comes home.

But what he got now was a gripping silence.

No bright twinkle could be emitted in that eye.Even his plain lips were tightly closed .

Santi was still staring at him, as if waiting for him to continue whether to talk or not.

'' an-kids these days are coming to mom's house ''

Heru ventured to step. There was no such prevention, he got closer and stopped in front of Santi.

Heru bent his knees in front of his wife. Both hands grabbed the hand that was on Santi's lap.

The woman who had accompanied him for 20 years was bowed down at a whim. This was the first time he had seen Santi cry like that.

Santi was hurt by it. For his actions. And right now he must be feeling tremendous pain.

'' mah ''

Santi straightened his head, pulling his hand to wipe away the tears that had soaked his entire face.

'' I won't ask for an explanation. Because it seems to be true that you have already ..' Santi's sentence is restrained. He could not continue it.Lipped his face to the side.

His heart was too sick because it turned out to be true, Heru had betrayed him.

Santi closed his eyes, reluctant to see the face that had accompanied his sleep all this time.

Especially imagine if her husband has shared love with other women.

'' do we have to get divorced ? '' santi asked still with her eyes closed.

But the word itself says it. But it was he who felt like he was falling from a height. His entire sense of feeling was painful and became a very painful pain.

'' no-no, no. Papa doesn't want us to get divorced.

Papa was wrong. Papa apologize, mah..'' Heru shook his head firmly. He tried to grab Santi's hand, but Santi brushed it off.

'' then ? you want us how ?'' Santi still refused to look at her.

Heru couldn't stand it anymore and started shedding tears.

Santi did not call them as usual.

He had memorized the attitude of Santi who if using 'me and you' ', it means the wife is in a bad mood aka annoyed at him.

But he knows the situation is more than that now. Santi must be very angry with him.

'' when only last night we did it.hiks...

But how could you have planned to do it again with another woman ? ''

Heru looked up, saw the falling tears flowing to the end of Santi's chin and fell right on his back.

'' what did we do last night just to do your duty ? So I don't suspect you, do I ? '' her tears escaped again and again.

Heru. He only realized that last night he and Santi did it after he replied to a chat with Belinda who discussed their hot plans.

Imagining what he would have sex with Belinda, making Heru desire rise which he then vent to his wife.

'' papa will do whatever you want to forgive papa Heru out of words.

'' whatever ''' Santi glanced at him for a moment .

Heru nodded quickly.

'' then answer honestly my question ''

' glek' instantly fear enveloped his entire head.

'' how long have you been in contact ? ''

'' du-two months ''

'' did you guys do it ?''

Heru did not dare to answer and could only nod.

Santi hysterically restrained while squeezing the end of his negligee.

Her tears flowed more than before.

'' how many times ?'' Santi interrupted as he pleased.

Heru. He didn't know, because he never counted it.

Silence for a second.

'' tell me what should I do with you now ? ''

'' ... ''

'' if I told you I forgive you would you just believe me ? ''

'' ... ''

'' then ? If I told you I couldn't forgive you, would you agree if I asked to separate ?''

'' ... ''

'' I can't continue the conversation now.

I need some calm.

And I have time to think about it ''

'' what-what do you mean mama ? ''

'' I'll catch up with the kids to your mother's house.

And for a while I'll stay there ''

'' la-lau what about me ?''

'' so, you want me to stay here ? '' Santi looked at him with eyes full of emphasis.

Heru wavering, he looks awry.

Want Santi to stay here rope also do not want if the situation between them like this.

He doesn't know how to.

'' just by looking at you, I immediately thought about it and could not stop.

I keep imagining how you guys make out ..

How do you kiss or even when you're doing it.

Then I'll compare it to me.

And it's too painful for me.

I can't... "

" ... "

" do you want to see me like that ? ''

'' ... ''

'' you have admitted your guilt, and at this time you may feel very sinful and very sorry for it.

But do you know how I feel right now ? ''

' hiks ' Santi squeezed his chest. Pain really hurts to have to say it.

'' now I feel like this is all because of me. Because it turns out I wasn't good enough for you. That's why you turned with him who must have better me ''

'' no. That's not true.mama is the best ever in papa's life.

Papa khilaf ma, all wrong papa. .maafin papa.

Please don't blame yourself.

It's all because of papa ..

Ja-so papa please, don't be like this, mah Heru held Santi's hand which was getting stronger squeezing his negligee collar.

'' you know what I feel right now ? ''

'' ... ''

'' I feel like a wife, I have failed and I have no meaning anymore.

I lost my value as a woman.

I can't trust myself anymore.

And even worse, I might not be able to carry out my duties like a wife.

Somehow if we keep maintaining this household later ?

Because I'll never be able to trust you again. I'm not sure anymore that I'm the only woman you love.

Do you think I can serve you like nothing ever happened - what ?

That's not possible.

Because I am scared now. I'm shy.

I never seem to be able to show you my body again. Especially to be able to give and receive each other pleasure as before ''

'' ma, please don't stay in papa.

Dad would not be able to live without his mom.

It's all papa's fault. Mama is not wrong.

Papa who can't take care of himself ''

'' why ? Why do you want to be with me but you can still do that with other women ?

If you're bored and bored with me, wouldn't it be better if we got divorced ?

So we don't have to hurt each other like this ?''

'' whatever you're going to do, but not divorce.

Until whenever papa does not want us to divorce ''

'' so you want to hold me back and watch me suffer like this ? Until when ?''

Heru.

'' give me time, and I'll prove that I won't repeat it again. Papa will try to fix everything.

Believe me ''

That night their conversation hung, not finding the point of completion.

Tomorrow will be the day. Heru woke up with eyes that he could barely open. Both of his eyes are swollen.

Heru was still wearing his clothes yesterday.

He sat down and turned to the side of the empty bed, where Santi usually lay.

Memories for 20 years now swirl in his head. Without feeling her tears flowing.

There was absolutely no Belinda on his mind.Women stopped her like yawning without a trace.

Just a few hours ago, Santi left, but he missed her a lot.

Last night, after their talk, Santi left with her sister Tatiana picked up .

Tens of minutes he spent self-defeating.

Eventually he got up and left the room.

The atmosphere of the house. Heru was glued to look at the tightly closed door of the room.

There was no scream Santi usually heard while waking up their children.

He then stepped into the kitchen. The cooking room was no less quiet. Though usually there will be Santi standing there, busy making something to fill and satisfy the stomach of his family members.

There is no typical aroma of the wife's cooking that usually bursts every time before meals.

Long enough Heru kept silent, remembering how Santi had been serving him and their children wholeheartedly and tirelessly .

Hearts changed.

Santi and his three children now live in Retno's house . Because Santi's relatives are all out of town. Both of his parents have long since died.

Although the relationship between Santi and Retno can not be said to be familiar, but in fact Retno understands how the condition of the daughter-in-law.

As long as Santi lived in his house, he never once offended let alone interfere in their household affairs.

He positioned himself to be neutral.

As a mother, of course he wants Heru forgiven so that his son's family can return to how it was.

But as a woman, she also knew what it was like to be a wife. Any woman would be hard to accept such a reality.

Therefore he did not want to force Santi and leave all the decisions to the son-in-law. Even though Santi decided to divorce.

He will even be willing to take care and support Santi and his three grandchildren if this happens.

That afternoon, after months of struggle, Heru, who almost daily visits his son and wife, decided to discuss again the issue of the hanging household without any certainty.

And as usual, Heru came in time for dinner.

Only Retno and Tantiana greeted him so happily.

While the three children and his wife were still cold and flat. Only a greeting and a response asked the news that was responded by Santi and his three children.

After dinner, Tatiana, who is still single, invites her three nieces to go out looking for snacks at Retno's request.

The opportunity was also used by Heru to invite Santi to talk .

Both of them chose to sit on the bench of the front garden as a place to talk.

'' mama kurusan Heru looked at Santi's face which looked thin.

Santi looked at him for a moment and looked down .

Heru even looked much thinner. The condition of the man who is still her husband's status looks so alarming.

Pity approaches.

Does it have to melt ?

But the pain has not diminished at all.

Although it had been a few months, but the pain was still so pronounced.

'' have you decided ?''

Heru tried to grab Santi's hand, but the wife was reluctant and put both hands to both sides of her seat.

'' I think we should get a divorce ''

' deh ' Heru was silent. His eyes began to glaze over.

All his efforts were in vain.

'' does that mean you can't forgive me ?''

Santi shakes.

'' this is how I forgive you ''

'' then what about the children ?''

'' you also know if they are the ones who know everything first.

They are not children anymore.

I could hardly believe it myself if they could face all this.

They've been hurt, and I think it's gonna hurt even more to see us stay together but it can't be what it used to be ''

'' but papa still loves mommy so much .

Dad can't live without his mom.

Please, ma. Don't do this .

Do whatever your mom wants.

Get angry, make it, hit it, whatever, just don't stay papa ''

'' but I uda can't believe you anymore.. ''

Heru. He's ashended. He never thought that the household he built with the hope intact until death separated would end like this.

All because he cannot control his lust.

'' is there really no chance for us to start over ? Does mama uda not love papa anymore ?''

'' I'm sorry, but I have to say that now I don't even want to see your face.

My body was like numbness when near you ''

Santi shakes.

It is the same as her. It was not easy for him to decide to get divorced.

But he will not be able to return to live the household let alone have to behave like nothing happened.

He can't. As hard as he tried to forget and accept the chest, still the pain has mastered and defeated everything.

Not that he cannot forgive, but he who cannot go back to living it .

Heru hugged Santi, no matter the woman repeatedly asked to be released. Because even though her mouth spoke so, in fact Santi held her arm and buried her face in the chest.

Without them realizing it, Retno stood in the air watching everything.

Tears flowed from both eyes.

His body trembled to find a heartbreaking sight there.

Two people who still love each other but now must be able to accept the reality if their relationship must end.

Retno remembered when Santi expressed his intention to divorce.

At that time he tried to convince and persuade Santi to think about it again.

But he was helpless because it turned out that the decision was at the request of his three grandchildren.

Mia, Hani and Doni do not want the mother to live in the shadow of the fault of the father.

They thought it would be better if the two split up in order to have more time to win themselves.

The rest let time be answered later.

If Santi and Heru were still in a match, they would definitely come back.

📍completed 📍

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