My love is blocked by my father's blessing
Part 4 My Woe

Dawn was not yet present but my eyes were awake I really could not sleep quietly after hearing everything from Kang Ahmad.

Honestly I want to continue school but not with mondok.Mondok means to be separated from my family.Am I strong?

Whether my arm will change the decision or every move and speech I say will not care anymore.

I was still in my own thoughts until I was unconscious at dawn when I got out of my bed and out of the bathroom I didn't see anyone all the way to the bathroom usually hours this way mom is already in the kitchen if I wake up late just a little bit mom will come to my room to wake me up.Today is so quiet to where is everyone?

After I took a shower I saw mom was already in the kitchen mom did not greet me like early in the morning so I decided not to greet her.Let this house be quiet without my voice.

I entered the room and performed the morning prayers.After the prayers I did not immediately move from my place.I was drowning in my own concern I felt so afraid if I really had to go.

"Allah the servant knows that knowledge is an obligation, but the servant ceases to seek knowledge because he wants to be devoted to the parents of the servant.Is it wrong, Lord?Yes Rabb now the servant is offered a free mole but the servant does not want to be away from the servant's family.Is it wrong, Rabb?Give your weak servant a hint!"

I did not feel my tears dripping weak once I.I tidied my face and prayer mats because it dawned on me for too long I'm here mom must need my help so I rushed over, so I rushed over,but not until the kitchen I saw my family was sitting where we used to have breakfast but in front of them there was no food, then why was it sitting there?

The father who saw me staring at the door immediately called me and told me to sit with them.I already know what they want to discuss.Well!Ma!Sis! it's still morning but why are you arguing with me?Lookie! the sun is still hiding itself but you want to make the whole house tense

When I sat down suddenly mom touched my shoulder like she was giving me strength.Indeed all this time every problem happened to me mother who always understood my feelings.Mommy is not my mother she is more suitable to be my friend.But this time I not sure if he would support me?

Hahaha your loyalty as a friend is in doubt ma'am!

Before mother continued her words I clasped her hand and placed it on my own mother's lap, now let me tell you everything.

"Sir!Buk up!Sis! Ain knows you all want Ain to be a successful child, who can boast of this family, while also raising the degree of this family.

Ain knows Ain's future is still long.There are still six years for school time that should not be wasted and there is still plenty of time for Ain to pursue the ideals so surely you all have tried to be able to send Ain back to school, right?

While now there are those who offer to go to school for free means that Ain's opportunity to continue school is wide and you don't have to bother to finance Ain school.You must be very happy to hear that but Ain is not because what? you know what a mumps means?mondok means I have to seek knowledge away from the family.Separt from all of you!"

I don't know where that power came from,I like to have all the burdens of my life.Maybe only this time I talk at length like this because indeed I have never fought any decision from them.Ever time I have denied the decision of the father that is when I had to quit school but mom managed to persuade me, but this time I don't know

I saw these three people in front of me completely silent as they were gathering and choosing the right words to answer me

"So you've been following your father's words so that one day you can ask for a reward?"

Not finished I finished my words suddenly brother said words that are very painful to me.Is the child in this world who asks for rewards from his parents?"

"This knowledge is mandatory for every human race you know?so you just carry out the obligation to find that knowledge!the problem of filial piety to both parents is still Akang!"

With ease my brother spoke like that he was indeed my brother who never and will not understand my feelings.

I saw my father and mother not talking at all like I was enjoying my debate with my brother.Not stopping until there my brother and I are still arguing.In fact all that brother said for my good but I still did not I like it because my sister is still trying to persuade me to go to the cottage.

Neither brother nor I have lost in this debate.It seems we are equally strong.We both have many words that can be used to reply to each other.

"Enough!"one word and one voice that can silence one house.Yes that's the word and voice of the father.Indeed my father is famous for being loud but always gentle to his children.He rarely said rudely to us, he said rudely,maybe only when my brother and I had a fight like this

"Mr already decided not to want Ain to go overboard!"those short words were like lightning striking me.Dad why did you do this to me?for a moment I looked at my mother she just bowed lethargic with her tears constantly dripping. I saved your son!

Without me even thinking my heart was growing seeds of hatred.Wind me to be angry in front of my family

"But Sir!Ain do not want mondok.Ain want to be at home?Do you not love me anymore?Or no longer want to forgive me?So you threw me out of this house!"

Not finished I was talking almost my father's hand grabbed my cheek.This is the first time my father wanted to slap me if only at that time the mother was not there it was possible now my cheek was red.

I don't blame him because I was wrong.My words have been too bold to my father.

Because I can't stem my tears I prefer to go to the room.In pain it feels but what can I do ?refused it?

My father had already decided on it so it would be difficult even impossible to oppose him.

Grandfather where did you this grandson of yours miss you?your grandson is so weak he needs strength