My cousin Maduku
Chapter 31 Remembrance of the Past.

I am currently on the balcony of my mother's house. At dawn I was among Septia's cousins back home, Septia asked to come with me and I let her.

Do not ask how the neighbors saw my arrival by carrying freight. It must have been a big hit. They must have guessed what happened to me. And I don't care about their response.

After my meeting with Mas Abian, there wasn't much we talked about. But what I know is that Mas Abian already has a wife and even a daughter.

And I feel relieved and grateful that Mas Abian can be happy with others, at least the guilt lodged in the heart gradually begins to fade. Although I do not know how Mas Abian household with his wife but I can judge if the man loved his wife very much seen from the way Mas Abian when talking to his wife on the phone that night.

My memory goes back to remembering where men worshiped many women in the village including Siska at that time who valued Mas Abian. Knowing this, Mas Abian and Siska's parents agreed to match their children. However, unfortunately Mas Abian did not put the slightest heart on Siska. Even Mas Abian blatantly rejected the matchmaking with my cousin.

Though at that time Bi Narti was very sure that Mas Abian was very obedient to his parents would want to accept the matchmaking. So happy that Bi Narti has been roaring to the neighbors to the right and to the left. Then had to swallow the bitter pill because Mas Abian refused the matchmaking. Shame they cannot hide.

After 1 month, Mas Abian came to propose to me. At that time I also put a taste to Mas Abian. But Bi Narti's threat threatened me not to accept the proposal. And I also obey.

At the meatballs shop, where we last met. Mas Abian and I both cried from heartbreak.

The Flashback

"Didn't you love me Rahayu? All this time I believed your eyes were full of love. But my judgment turned out to be wrong. I thought our togetherness all along was able to sow a feeling in your heart for me. As this taste grows for you here. Again my behavior is wrong. You managed to play with my feelings, Rahayu?."

"I've never played you Mas Abian. I feel heartbreak like you. Look me in the eye, read my eyes. Not that I don't want you, but I don't want to destroy my fraternal relationship with Siska. He's so crazy about you, I keep his feelings. Believe that this is best for us. You'll find a much better woman than me, Mas. Pursue your dreams. Continue your college and your life. You will be happy with others, I'm sure of that. Find your happiness."

"You're selfish yu. You only think about your own feelings without thinking or caring about how I am. All right go far. As far as! let me take this dead love of mine to you. I will not marry any woman but you, Rahayu. Even I'll live alone until old age."

Flashback Off

The words of Mas Abian I still remember today. Thankfully Mas Abian reneged on his promise and married another woman and lived happily.

While I listened to Mama's advice and Bi Narti's pressure to reject Mas Abian's proposal when it ended in vain. Mama said to always keep our brotherhood. Not just because a man destroys the brotherhood. That's what my mom said. But it is precisely these two who are now destroying our brotherhood.

Despite years of never communicating, I've always been guilty. Fear Mas Abian fulfilled his promise to age alone.

I went to get over Mas Abian. And that's when I met Mas Danang offering a thousand promises that turned out to be just a figment. He thought it would age together, but it was just wishful thinking. In fact Mas Danang could wish me with my cousin.

"Riska, why are you daydreaming alone here?." Septia's chirping voice resuscitated my daydream that was reminiscing about my past with Mas Abian. But in a hurry I put my mind to it. Mas Abian already has a wife, it's not appropriate for me to think of people's husbands.

"Don't tell me you're reminiscing about your childhood with Mas Abian?." I played my phone so I wouldn't look Septia in the eye.

"Then you daydream what ?." Septia seemed dissatisfied to hear my answer.

"I'm just relieved, something that's stuck in my heart is gone now."

Septia frowned at the sign she did not understand. "What is it?." asked Septia curiously.

"How did I tell you? confused me." My words actually invited Septia's curiosity.

"Don't tell me that you and Mas Abian used to be lovers huh?."

"Hmm, if so why? you take it easy, it's been a long time and leaves no taste for it anymore. I don't want to be the third. I'm grateful she's happy with another woman, really."

Septia looked me in the eye.

"You failed because of the third person. I'm sure you won't do the same." Septia clasped my hand.

"I feel traumatized to be in a relationship with any man." I breathe heavily.

"Don't be like that, not all men are the same." Septia tried to convince me.

"I'm traumatized to be recoki by Siska again. I don't know why every time I have a relationship with a man, Siska always loves that person."

"Did Siska destroy your relationship with Mas Abian?." Septia put on a serious face.

"More or less so."

"What's the girl's problem? why is it always you." Septia was furious.

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Seriate...