CAN I BE HAPPY?
IT'S ALL MY FAULT!!

"He is Alsya's twin brother" Alsya said in a trembling voice of fear.

"What?!"rio said with a shocked face.

Pov Alsha :

My heart beats quickly when I hear Bang Rio's scream, I'm afraid he will be angry with me because of my mistakes in the past, like Mama and Papa who were angry with me even to the point of torturing me.

I was still silently thinking about how to explain to Bang Rio to understand.

"Why didn't you tell me back then?, now where is he?, and what's his name?, try to explain slowly don't be afraid" Bang Rio asked.

Since Bang Rio had so many questions, those questions managed to make me even more afraid to explain, I was afraid that if I mispronounced, was it time he found out?, maybe it's time to explain everything about him.

I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly to calm myself down.

"She was named Alya, she was my twin sister, and I was her brother and Alya was my sister, Alya was Mama and Papa's favorite child because she was always superior to me,Alya is always pampered and always given full attention, when I and Alya as a child we always play together happily to know what sadness is, after the age of five we rarely played together because Alya was always superior to me, at that time I did not care but when we were adults I felt jealous of him, every day,every time Alya was always with Mama and Papa accompanied by happy laughter, while I?, I stood in the distance looking at those who laughed happily, while I was happy,even starting from childhood I was tortured when Alya was injured even though the wound was not because of my actions, Alya just kept quiet when I saw me being tortured by Mama and Papa, Papa, I could only cry and beg to stop but they were deaf, at that time I was 6 years old, when I was a child I was always jealous and hated with Alya but I could only keep quiet,all this time I was only accompanied by Grandma who loved me, when I was sad Grandma must always be beside me, when I was tortured Grandma must be beside me to defend, she said,even I wouldn't be touched by Mama and Papa if Grandma was next to me" I paused for a moment staring at the sky.

"I always remember advice - advice from my grandmother, where when I was a child I wanted to hurt Alya because of hate and envy where Alya always get affection by Mama and Papa, where she always get love,actually when I was a kid I didn't hate him but when I saw his attitude when I was tortured it started to show up, but Grandma was always next to me and advised me,finally I began to be able to eliminate hatred and envy even though in my heart the envy still remains, until finally grandma left me alone forever,I was just accompanied by a doll that my grandmother gave me on my 7th birthday, I cried loudly next to Grandma's grave, while Mama and Papa just kept quiet,time passed and I grew up with misery when someone accompanied me and protected me" I stopped wiping my tears.

"When I was 9 years old I was lonely again and again because, the doll that had accompanied me from childhood I had to give it to Alya" said I looked down sad.

"Why?, wasn't the doll your grandmother gave you?"bang Rio's asking wiped my tears.

"True, at that time I had just returned to school on foot, when the distance between home and school was quite far, but what could be done, they did not allow me to ride in a vehicle, while Alya was always picked up by them, but what could be done,when I got home from school Alya had arrived first, I ran into my room and saw a figure standing behind me turned out to be Alya who seemed to hold something, I reflexively asked 'People are here?' my question was a little jutek, Alya turned her body with a shocked face, and at that moment I saw Alya hugging the doll that Grandma gave me, I immediately took it and hid it behind my body, he looked at me like he was begging for something 'Sis that doll mine?'asked with a plain face, I refused firmly, how not the doll is a relic of Grandma one - one that gave me, Alya looked at me with glazed eyes, glass, glass, I didn't care if I didn't hate him at the time but his actions made me angry" I said with a burning rage, but realized I was punching the ground beside me.

Bang Rio immediately grabbed my hand and calmed me down, I continued my story.

"That's when Mama and Papa came to my room, 'What's wrong?' mama said with a soft tone hugging Alya's body, envy began to rise but at that time I immediately brushed aside, Papa saw Alya who was still looking at me with glassy eyes, glassy, glassy eyes,Papa looked at me sharply at that moment I just looked down and hugged the Granny-given doll tightly with fear, 'What's the matter dear?, why are you staring at Alsya with eyes glazed over?, did she hurt you?' asked Papa gently, rubbing Alya's hair, at that time I was more frightened, I was hugging the doll tightly in my arms, 'Alya wanted the doll' said Alya with her hands to the doll I was hugging,simultaneously Mama and Papa saw the doll that I embraced, 'Don't this doll given Grandma, besides you also gave the doll to Grandma at that time'my words at that time tried to vent,'What if later Papa bought a better one, see that the doll is already very bad, better Papa give a new one how?'papa said, indeed my doll at that time was not as good as when Grandma was alive, stitches were everywhere, but still worth to use.Alya shook his head even he cried, but he was still alive,at that moment I hugged tightly and even tears started to come down profusely, 'Please don't 'say me then with sobs, but that's all I can do, but that's all I can do, and my doll was pulled by force even I was pushed until my head hit and bled by Mama, when they didn't care and just left me helpless"I said I felt the scar in my head before continuing my story.

"Year years passed, I turned 12 years old, the wind from where I was invited to walk by them, we went to the park, to the mall, to the playground, to the street,the point is I enjoy even though I am always behind them, when night falls we want to go home, but we have to cross because our car is across the road, we crossed the street but I was told to be behind them, when in the middle of the crossing Alya released the hand of Mama and Papa, Alya walked ahead of us, Mama panicked and shouted to call Alya,but Alya was only indifferent, suddenly - arriving from the left side there was a motor that was very fast, while Alya had not realized, I realized first also ran to help Alya, 'Alya beware!!'mama and Papa shouted, I kept running but late Alya bounced away while I was tight and slightly injured, Mama and Papa ran to Alya's blood-soaked Direction, and,a lot of people came while I stood with the help of people, while the riders ran away somewhere, somewhere,I walked with training - assisted by some people until there I saw Alya who was no longer breathing in the lap of papa, I was stared sharply by my mother and slapped hard,'You're useless, why didn't you manage to save her ha?!!'mama shouted, a lot of people were whispering - whispering somehow they were talking, when Mama wanted to slap me again there was a mother - a mother who said loudly ' Hey why are you talking like that? , why did you make her a fortress?, what kind of mother are you, if you continue to blame this child you will I report for the violent action'yelling the mother who was next door angrily hugging me who was crying hysterically"I look at both my hands angry.

"It's all my fault, why didn't I manage to protect Alya?!!, I hate myself, I hate my hands, I hate everything in me, I'm useless, I should have died, because of me Alya did not survive!!!"my hysterical scream beat my own chest in disappointment and anger.

The Pov Alsya End.