Nun: Just Missing
The Scream of Hearts

Suffering is a test. Man is the connoisseur of all. What have you been ravenous about today?

Bright morning, blue sky and bright sunshine. Mom and Dad were enjoying a bowl of chicken porridge.

"Alhamdulillah, you're both full, sir, how about two bowls?" Babe mom while enjoying the last mouthful.

"Yes ma'am, redundant if wasted.' father chimed.

"that's the pushi would also sir, our former porridge. hehe. there's still a little chicken meat."

"The name is also cat, what is eaten. That was yesterday when I threw bread, he wanted to."

They seem calm and happy. There was no confusion on his face.

"Sir, I miss our house. Wanna see for a second, clean it up, must be a lot of dust."

"Later on, ma'am, my father's body is not strong.'

"No, father, I'm just. Ask Bagas to deliver."

"Yes, you've asked yourself, when you get home from school."

The goddess came out of the kitchen with a basket of fried foods, her wares.

"You want to trade to the wi market?" Ask mom while cleaning up the empty porridge bowl.

"Yes ma'am, I'll be the same father if you want to eat. Lauk and vegetables are in the kitchen. Goddess depart yes ma'am, assalamu'alaikum"

"Wa'alaikum salam" replied the mother and father together.

"Just finished breakfast, I'm reminded of lunch." He chuckled while shaking his head slowly.

"Yes, the Goddess is coming home in the afternoon, sir. Later if not told by suspicion father same mother not given to eat here." The Goddess's eyes glanced at the mother with hurried footsteps.

*****

Evening wrapped in twilight shade when the mother's netra implies the question that wants to be revealed. The Maghrib Adhan echoes, signaling the night is coming.

After the Maghrib prayer, the mother began to express her heart.

"Son, tomorrow I want to see the house for a bit. I want to clean up the dust and clean up the yard." Mother told Ruslan.

"Mother be calm here. Don't think about home. There is a lot of worship, ma'am. The house will not be taken to death."

Ddteegh..

Mom's heart jerked, her right hand reflex stroked her chest.

"Astaghfirullah, eling son. I knew the house would not be taken away. But as long as you and your mom are alive, you still need a home." Mother's emotions begin to peak.

"It doesn't feel right that the house was left dirty for so long. Sometimes it has to be cleaned." Add mother again.

"Whose mother crus wants to go there? Can mom go alone? Don't like to bother Mom." A cynical tone was thrown from Ruslan's mouth.

"Oh Allah, you only ask Bagas to accompany you is considered troublesome?" Mother shed tears.

"Better mom just go from here, sleep under the bridge also papa. If it's mom you take it as a hassle." Mom's hand squeezes the tip of the hijab that mom's wearing.

"That's not it, ma'am, don't look for disease. Mommy's being here take care of me." The goddess struck like lightning.

"Mother's thoughts to Allah, do not bother thinking about home and others. Mother's heart is still dirty. Earthly just, try to think of the afterlife." Ruslan said.

"Yes Allah... Astaghfirullah.." cried mother.

"Just split your chest, if you don't believe it. Mother never thought anything of it. Why are you being so insolent?" Mother's crying broke. You can only be silent.

" O Allah, forgive me and my children. Grow to us love and affection." Mother's prayer in her tears.

The green pillow as a witness to how sick the heart of the mother.

"Jo, what's my fault until the kids are so to me. They did take care of the father who was sick, but they did not care for me.' complained the mother on the pillow.

"It feels like this heart Jo, here I can't do anything. This that can't. Just take a break. Body on all the pain." Mother hugged the green pillow very tightly.

"I miss my house. I want to go home for a while. I want to clean it up. Is that Jo's fault?" Ask mom on the pillow again.

I brought dinner for my mom. I eat a little.

"Ga there's taste" said the mother.

"Don't do that, ma'am, even if you eat a little more. This is the father of bribes."

"Sir, I have no appetite. Mommy's heartache sir."

I put the plate next to my mom. I rubbed the back of my mother who had lived a bone.

"Prophe Ma'am, our names are here."

"Until when sir? I can't stay here long. Than later come out my undeserved words." Mom sulks, mom's hand shakes dad's arm.

"Until you are strong, ma'am, in Shea Allah. You also don't want to bother too long, Ruslan children a lot. His son plus his foster son." I patted mom's hand.

"Prophey ma'am" said the father again.

As the mother wanted to continue the conversation, Ruslan's voice rang and a deliberate cough. Mom squeaks and pinches daddy's arm.

"Sstt, already. The patient.." asserted the father slowly gave the code to the mother.

After the Isya prayer, the mother lays down her thin body. Her white hair covered the green pillow.

Outside the room, Ruslan's children throw each other guyonan. Entertaining father. Very crowded. Mum sad. It doesn't feel fair.

"Jo, outside my son and grandson comforted father. They don't care about me Jo. Only you can accompany me."

"Mother, don't cry. Jojo dear mother. Jojo sincerely hugged mother and wet because of mother's cries. As long as you are not sad anymore." The sound of the green pillow surprised me.

"I heard you speak, is this really the sound of my own pillow or inner voice?"

But the sound made me a little calm. It was as if someone was accompanying and providing moral support.

I fell asleep and had a good dream. In a dream, the mother becomes a beautiful butterfly. From one flower to another. Meet a lot of friendly animals.

There are nets that catch butterflies. I woke up and realized it was just a dream. The clock on the wall shows 2 hours over 15 minutes. Istighfar and berwudhu to pray tahajud.

After reading a few verses of the Qur'an, the mother went back to sleep.

He coughed several times in his sleep. Mom's awake.

"Sleep Mom, so that tomorrow you wake up healthy and fresh. Don't think about the useless mother's son." The green pillow spoke again.

"But father...."

"Father is okay, just cough for a moment. That looks like it's still sleeping, isn't it?"

"Well Jo, good night."

Dreams are flowers of sleep. It can also be interpreted as a desire stored in the human subconscious. Are you afraid to dream?