Two Love's
Greeting

     It would not be easy for a woman, to organize her broken heart. But it is also not impossible for a woman to remain patient and survive by forgetting all her disappointments. 

   Alif ran to hug me, after seeing this mother emerge from behind the gate. Apparently, my son has been waiting since. Bu Eni also accompanied Alif, although it was time to go home. 

"who is he, mi? " asked Alif when he saw Aaron who also came with me. 

" know, baby. This is Aaron. Umi's friend, "my word introduced Aaron. The man beside me smiled at Alif. 

" hi hotshot. What class? " Aaron said hello to Alif. 

" it's still kind of like, um, " replied Alif. 

Ms. Eni approached us. 

" all right, mom. Excuse me for going home first, "that beautiful teacher. 

" oh, yes, Miss Eni. Thank you for taking good care of Alif. Sorry it's been so troublesome. Because accompanying Alif, the time to go home Ani so late, "I cried.  Which is so sad for Bu Eni. This teacher Alif should have been home an hour ago. But only for the sake of accompanying my son. 

" yes, mom. Its alright. I am glad I was able to help Mama Nafisah. I'm sorry, yes. Assalamualaikum says. "

" Naval, " 

Aaron and I answered the greetings of Mrs Eni. The teacher left, along with a motorcycle that was always a leg ready to take him.

 "now? I'll take you home, or to Miss We?"'s house?" ask Aaron. I thought for a moment. Thinking about Alif's fate, whether he will be comfortable or not in our house later. Alif I'm not used to staying in a foreign place, he's not the type of child who feels at home in a foreign place.

[16/9 11.18] Masruroh: "just go to my house." I answered flatly. Aaron said he walked quickly to the car park. Me and Alif followed behind. 

     It's cloudy in my heart, still not leaving. I clearly remember what they were doing. Somehow I will face it later. Will I be able to hold back the anger and emotions in front of my husband? 

    Aaron started driving his car. I threw my eyes out there. Alif was silent, engrossed in playing the robot toy he bought at school earlier. 

"where is Harun's house? " all of a sudden Alif makes a sound. Break the silence in the car. Aaron smiled at Alif's question. 

" actually the house of Harun in Medan, North Sumatra. But, I got a job offer in Surabaya. So, yes, you settled in Surabaya," replied Aaron. Alif nodded when maybe he did not understand Aaron's answer. 

"when, bring your child home. Let's play with me later, "excited Alif. Aaron did not answer. Just smile knot. 

   I just heard their little chatter. Not interested in joining further. My heart is still full of wounds. It was as if there was no hope ahead. I don't know if I can forgive, or stop fighting to continue the marriage, which we've built for 8 years. 

****

       My steps go into the house. There is no spirit at all. I want to go, alone, to calm my heart. Being a mother, however, will not be easy to just leave her son. I keep thinking about Alif. This child cannot be a victim of this. I don't know which path I should take. Should I hold on. 

      Remembering one message my mother had before marrying Iqbal mas. 'being a wife, must be ready to be a husband's trash can. Look at that dumpster, holding whatever's thrown at it'

     After changing Alif's uniform with casual clothes, I lay down my body on the mattress. The head feels heavy. My tears occasionally dripped, but I immediately removed, so that Alif could not see my tears and sadness. 

      The sound of Iqbal's car was heard, apparently he had gone home. 

       A few minutes later, Iqbal entered the room. He sits beside me. He must have wanted to discuss what happened today. I felt lazy, not interested in hearing the explanation at all. 

"Nafisah.., I'm sorry, " said Iqbal. I don't know if I can forgive him or not. 

" mas, you fornicate! " groans. 

" she's already my wife, Naf. We married sirri, " continued Iqbal. My heart broke immediately. Although I had suspected before, that they may have married secretly, until Iqbal dares to have sex with the woman. But the fact, spoken directly by the mouth of Iqbal mas remains very painful. 

"why, mas? Why are you.., so hearty? " ask me. My voice is bitter. My tongue suddenly stiffened. 

" he was my first lover. I love her so much. He is too. After being separated for so long, fate brought us together. Our love is growing again. We can't control our feelings, which have been around for a long time. "

   My heart was slapped back. This reality is so bitter. Of love? My husband loves her so much? Then me? 

“you love him so much, mas? Then me?" 

"i love you too, Naf. Even Sarah has a lot of respect for you. That's why we married sirri. Sneakily. He doesn't want anything. For him to have the opportunity to have me is a fortune, " said Mas Iqbal. 

" good, okay. Just continue. And let me go alone, "I cried. 

" what do you mean, Naf? "

" yes.. I'm gonna go. We can get divorced, right? "

" no! I will not divorce you. "

" so selfish of you, mom? Whatever you want to do. Not getting divorced is okay. But I want to go. Let me go. Give me some time to myself! "

That's my decision. Go some time, it might be able to treat my injuries. Although provisional.