Things I Want to Listen to
Pain And Sadness

From Sarah's home address. My eyes widened when I saw Sarah's residence in a luxury apartment. Very tall building, a very luxurious funiture upon entering the receptionist. Very surprising, it turns out he is a rich man but I wonder why he still works at the cafe?

‘This brother is his home?’ manya curious.

‘Iya, this is my home’ he said in a stammering tone due to drunkenness. I walked over holding Sarah's shoulder to the elevator entrance.

‘Dareen, my room is on the tenth floor, number two hundred and thirty-two’ Sarah told me where she was.

Arriving at the tenth floor, I rushed Sarah to her apartment. Because I saw Sarah was already looking limp.

We arrived at room two hundred and thirty-two. I put the card in the scan under that doorway. Then I opened the door. I blame the lights in the living room. The apartment is very spacious.

I drove Sarah to her room. And, I petrified him on that bed, and then I opened his high shoes. When I finished opening Sarah's shoes, I realized that I had just been to the girls' room for the first time. Suddenly my chest skipped a beat faster, I felt groggy in the girls room.

I decided to quickly leave Sarah's apartment because I was afraid when she realized she would misunderstand me.

Just as I was walking leaving Sarah in that bed. Suddenly my steps stopped when my hand was holding. Then I looked at Sarah.

‘You don't go Ki! accompany me’ said sarah with a sad face of fear. But who is “Ki?” or maybe his girlfriend?

‘Yes my brother will not leave. I accompany briefly’ answered me without thinking long, whereas my current situation is very serious.

I took a seat in the corner of the room, just as I was about to take the chair, there was a picture frame of Sarah with a woman she had shown me before. But why are there so many pictures with his friend in his room?

I ignored the photo, and then I sat in the chair watching Sarah sleep. I accompanied him until he was fine. After that, I immediately rushed home.

And, it doesn't feel like time has shown one hour past ten minutes in the morning . I fell asleep with my sleepiness I accompanied Sarah until I forgot to go home. At this hour, the last train is no more.

If I go home in a taxi at blind in the morning now it's gonna be expensive. I'd better sleep on the couch. And, the next morning I had to go home first change clothes, after that go to see Yuri.

The light was so dazzling, so bright my eyes opened on their own. When I looked at the open window it was already morning. I saw the wall clock on the tv, the clock was eight in the morning, I got up from the sofa looking for my bag to hurry home.

‘Good Morning Dareen’ I looked towards that voice. ‘Sleeping you hard times yes it turns out hahah’ added Sarah while cooking something.

‘Sorry brother, I have to go first, I have an appointment with someone’ I said hurriedly while looking for a bag that still has not met.

‘Breakfast first yes Dareen. After that you can go’ said Sarah while smiling sweetly at me. When he smiled, I remembered what happened last night. He was desperate, but why was he still smiling?

‘Sorry yes brother so ngerepotin even sister Sarah who cook’ I immediately sat at the dining table adjacent to the kitchen.

‘Gakpapa, even me who is not good with you. You even belain nganterin me to the apartment I’ said Sarah while continuing to cook it.

‘Yuk on dining to cold rush’ Sarah's orders.

‘Iya Kak takasih’ while eating me from earlier is still curious. I saw the whole apartment. The thing is I still haven't met the photo of the girlfriend he was referring to. Most of the photos are of her female friends.

‘Sorry if you suddenly ask. I still don't know the face of her boyfriend Sarah. Continue in the residence of this sister Sarah there is no photo of sister Sarah's boyfriend or sister Sarah keep the belongings of her late boyfriend sister Sarah in one place. And, also even sister Sarah showed me her friend Sarah's photo only last night’ said I brightly. Sarah sat in front of me, and she started talking.

‘Which I once showed you that photo, He is my girlfriend’

‘Hah? Meaning?’

‘Sorry that I haven't told you much.

I wanted to talk to you yesterday. Even I got drunk yesterday’ said Sarah while drinking her coffee and then she started to continue ‘So, about the photo of the two of them, we were dating but we were the only two who kept our relationship a secret. Only Master knows our relationship’

‘Master?’ kataku shocked.

‘Iya Master knew because she saw us kissing in the back of the cafe, and after we were found out I was forced to tell her about our relationship to Master. Master was not surprised at all, he just said “The forbidden relationship will not be able to survive. But someone's feelings are different. So if your feelings are not held back right, maybe that's your reason to stick with him” he said like it’

‘Feelings Brother Sarah how now? What Sister Sarah has to start a new life again like looking for a new replacement again or just like this’ I wonder.

‘No, now no one can replace him. Because I regret pretending to be dating her. I'm afraid that if I refuse to date her, she might stay away from me. And, before the accident we officially broke up because I doubted my relationship with him. But on one hand I was surprised, he still wanted to meet me. Then the accident happened. I regretted loving him half that time. Now I don't know Dareen anymore. Must be how I make amends with him’ Sarah said in tears before me.

I could only silently look at the Sarah I knew as friendly, kind, and charming in my eyes. And, now he was crumbling his current feelings. There were no more feelings that he wanted to express, now he only had a deep sense of regret. I sighed for a moment

‘I don't care what the genre is, Sister Sarah can't choose who to fall in love with. And it's hard to forget that feeling. I fell in love with a friend of mine that I shouldn't have. When I'm with him it hurts so much that my relationship is just a friend even though he doesn't know my true feelings. I regret having known him from the beginning. But, for some reason Since meeting him again, the feeling of regret has been lost because the smile that I continue to keep until now’ My words, then my seat I attached to Sarah, Sarah, and I continued.

‘So although there are many complicated feelings between two people, such as love of regret or doubt. I don't think Sarah needs to hurt herself anymore. More than regretting his death. Might as well.. Sister Sarah should try to appreciate the time you have spent with’ I said as I wiped the tears on her cheek with my handkerchief.

‘RISKI!’ But finally he still cried loudly from before while mentioning the name of someone important in his life.

Sarah was calm with feelings now. So I immediately rushed to go to Yuri's place. Maybe he was waiting for me there.

‘Sarah's sister sorry now Brother Sarah has calmed down, so I ma-‘ haven't finished talking, Sarah cut my talk.

‘Thank you Dareen, you will listen to my grievances. Now I'm calm and don't regret it now’ Sarah said with a smile that's what I expected of her.

God, if only one's feelings were not as complicated as a word. Maybe this life is in harmony with reality. No matter how much pain and sadness you are experiencing right now. That won't make you feel unhappy.