The Relationship Story
CONCUBINES

LIMARIO MANOBAN

Sitting on the balcony of the room, enjoying the morning air, with a cup of cappuccinno smoke still billowing, a pack of cigarettes that have been left behind by some sticks in it and a laptop that lights up.

I am different now than myself 3 years ago, myself who is now a cigarette addict and alcohol drinker. You could say I used to be a lousy drinker, but now don't ask, only 2 things that make me calm and not think about my pain.

My gaze focused on the laptop that lit up, fingers dancing quickly on it, up from letters to words, words to sentences, sentences neatly arranged, to form a story to be remembered.

At first I wanted to make a novel for my love story, but I felt like a failure, writing that was not worth reading, stringing words was difficult, much easier to tell than writing them.

Writing about the story of our own lives, sometimes difficult sometimes easy, trying our hardest to review the story of our lives, there is happiness, laughter and tears of sadness. Family, friendship, to romance, embodied in word for word, make ourselves at peace with the past masala.

Opening old wounds over and over again makes us immune to pain, to the point where we force ourselves to be at peace with ourselves.

In my writing it reminds me, that the test will not exceed our own capacity. Because God is always fair to his creatures.

How far I ran, but in fact the memories with him never lost. This is my story, the long journey full of twists and turns that I went through. Being a writer is not my goal, I just want to reduce a little bit of my pain.

And only by writing about my story can I reconcile little by little with my bitter past of my love story, as if the world no longer existed for me. Just writing my heart story, not diary notes.

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It was me and my ex-lover who I hadn't changed in 5 years. Someone who's been this past 3 years that I want to forget, someone who really conquered my whole heart. Someone who has made a hole in my heart.

Want to forget it, want to hate it 2 things I always tried but never could do. Memories with him can never make me hate him or forget him.

I also do not know why I can get so Love and love me so big for him and never fade for him, but I try to make him because he has been happy with his choice.

In the beginning I felt unable to accept his betrayal of me, for 5 months I always terrorized him by threatening him, contacting him only to ask him back to me but he still did not want to, until one day, he said, jennie came to see me with her new boyfriend, when my jealousy was so great that I beat the guy unconscious, to the point of making jennie scared of me, when I saw her eyes shining with fear on me, I realized that I had hurt her.

I realized that my jealousy was so great that I was restrained, that our 5 years of living together without marriage made me feel like having it so big.

For 5 years I never touched her, in terms of having sex, I knew her family well they accepted me with open arms, as well as my family.

I tried to finish my studies by working hard, paying for my own college and college, and also paying for our lives.

Jennie's family is a distinguished family in Korea, because her Dady Jennie is a businessman in all fields, Jennie has an older brother who is married and has a son.

For 4 years our relationship has been running without any serious problems, small fights often occur between us, no relationship runs smoothly. As well as my relationship with her, until stepping 6 months before my 5th birthday and jennie, the problem began to arise and made Jennie ask me to end our relationship.

Her boyfriend Jennie supports her relationship with the man named Oh Se-sehun. My heart really hurts, losing the one I love plus jennie's dady kicked me out of her house when I found Jennie at her house, I saw Jennie and one-hun kissing in the front yard of her house and I beat her up.

When my body was weak helpless, remembering my memories with jennie for 5 years was meaningless to him, seeing the fear in jennie's eyes at that time made my heart completely broken.

For the past 6 months I have been stalking my ex-lover and the results are nil because of my emotional nature, for 5 years I have never been rude to him, for 5 years I have never yelled at him, for 5 years I tried to give my best for her, working hard day and night to make her happy.

Even though I knew that without money from me, Jennie's family was able to give her everything, it was just that I felt responsible for her, because we lived together, while learning to be responsible for being a good husband later, so many dreams that we make for my future with him, but all just disappear.

And after that incident, Jennie blocked all my access with her. Until I really don't know anything about it. But I always get the news about her from our friends, all of Jennie's friends are my friends because we are one faculty, I know Jennie from the highschool era in Switzerland, first in Switzerland, but when the rupture of our relationship my friends no one knows, only Somi because at that time our great struggle occurred where I work and there was somi, she said, but I'm sure one day my other best friend will also find out about this.

And the problem began to occur after a year of graduation with the title of S1 business management we both have their respective activities, jennie who began working in the company dadynya, I was working in a coffee shop owned by my father's friend who was in Korea. Since Jennie worked at her daddy's office, our time together began to stretch.

My father was a Swiss cheft international named Marco Bruschweiler and my mother was a former model in Thailand.

My family found out about my breakup with Jennie, my dad asked me to go back to Switzerland, help manage the restaurant he owned, but I subtly refused, because I was thinking, when I left swis for Korea I promised not to trouble my parents, until I could stand on my own feet for 6 years in Korea.

I knew Jennie when she was living in Switzerland with her grandfather, which is why I followed her to Korea because she wanted to go to college and live in Korea to be close to her parents.

For the love of my life I left my ego to stay away from my family.

For 6 years also I worked in the coffee shop, for 6 years I worked well there, so much knowledge that I got.

After I actually tried to sneak jennie, I decided to cut off all my relationships with my Korean friends including those in Switzerland.

And I tried my luck to start a new life in the English city of London, started life there by asking my father for help, my father bought me an apartment in London. The Harington, on the 7th floor I live there right now.

But in reality I failed to be able to live independently in London, and in the end I received help from my father.

For 3 years I lived in London, with the living expenses my father always sent me, for 3 years I could never do anything, because my pain and disappointment left me helpless until one day when I was walking around at night I hit a woman who turned out to be my friend during college, I didn't expect to see her, Roseana Park, or I used to call her Park Chayoung, she was Jennie's best friend.

Rose knows my love story with Jennie, Rose has only heard stories from her side, but she doesn't judge me, I tell her everything.

And it was Rose who gave me the passion to live my life again, without having to remember my past with jennie, jennie was already happy together one way, jennie and Sehun got engaged on January 16, 2015. It happened 2 months ago.

There was pain, but true what Rose said, I should be able to start a new chapter of my life again without remembering jennie again.

The world is not as wide as the leaves of Moringa it has been 4 years Rose lives in London running his dady company in London engaged in hospitality.

There are already 2 hotels that rose has in London, thanks to which I also get some reference of his colleagues to establish cooperation with me, but it is really difficult to get investors who want to share the benefits of 50:50.

I thought about how it would be in the future if I wasn't being tough on revenue sharing, because I thought business was so cruel, I just didn't want to depend on others for too long.

Likewise with the business, I think about it if one day the investor withdraws his funds or the investor goes bankrupt I can return it without asking anyone for help.

I met Rose when I was 1 year in London. We were friends, he and his contractor girlfriend were always there for me whenever I needed them.

Rose lives in a luxury apartment in London with her lover Mark, a well-built tall man with a mature, loving and patient personality, they are very lucky, able to have each other, and reach for each other. I always pray that their relationship is not like mine and Jennie's. Mark is an English national but has a Korean face, because his mother is Korean.

I said my wish to Rose and Mark wanted to have a coffee shop, rose originally wanted to help me with the funds, but I subtly rejected it, my parents just I refused what else rose, and I really appreciated rose because she respected my wishes.

I never know where I'm going to take my life, looking for a new love? But I can't forget it. I don't know when my heart is empty like this.

But when my best friend said I had to get up, then from that moment I started to busy myself, making a proposal to build a shop for me to submit as investor consideration.

In fact, a struggle is not smooth, failure after failure I always get, but I try to stand up, and not be discouraged. I kept trying-and trying again, until I had dozens of proposals that I revised.

My desire is very great to have a coffee shop, because Jennie really likes coffee, which is why I want to have a coffee business, plus I have worked in a coffee shop for 6 years.

I can't be with him but I want to build something so I can always remember him as the most beautiful ex, despite the pain of remembering his mistakes, but I began to admit that the mistake was not entirely jennie did but I also took part in the destruction of our relationship.

Excessive jealousy to the point of limiting her, my distrust of her, and the emotions that always explode when I am jealous, selfish in every decision, Jennie always obeys my wishes, she said, in fact, what I think is good for Jennie actually makes it constrained to my desires, and I just realized that jennie has inner pressure while having a relationship with me.

I never scolded him or snapped at him just that I would shut up and hit whatever was in front of me, to vent all my emotions.

Never once did I intend to hit Jennie because I never wanted to and always avoided it when I was angry. I'm just afraid to be rude to her if I'm angry.

If one day God gives me a chance to be with him, I will change my previous nature to Jennie first.

She's the kind woman I've met my whole life, understood myself, loved me, loved me, but I didn't waste it.

Regrets always come at the end, if there is nothing new felt that his presence is valuable, rice has become porridge.

For 3 years I lived with such deep regrets, wishing I could get back together.

Now I realize, to continue my life, there have been many women Mark introduced to me, but none of them can shake my heart.

The wounds I received made me more selective in terms of being in a relationship. Being traumatized, not wanting to hurt anymore and not wanting to be hurt again made me always reject the woman who liked me.

Rose was tired of advising me, so Mark took the initiative to introduce me to some of his female friends, but Mark never gave up hope to help me find a partner. I think Mark is like a matchmaker.

They are 2 people who are always patient with my nature, friends who are always reliable.

It's not easy living in a country where there are so many things I have to live, I live in London as a worker, with my father's stone I get a worker visa, I get a job, so once every 2 years I have to extend my worker visa.

Unlike when I was in Korea, I had a student visa so I could stay longer in Korea.

I have a Swiss citizenship identity, because my family has lived there since my father and mother married.

To be continue...

"Just be grateful and keep what you have milked, in fact it gets easier than maintaining"

"Don't believe in the results, but believe in the process"

Love can be lost instantly but love will always be there because memories will never be lost or can be changed.