The Love of the Poet
Episode 19's
Twenty-fifth Part
The Love of the Poet
Perhaps in the real world, what I experienced was a dream that could have been full of engineering or
mere wishful thinking. A handsome businessman with an almost perfect appearance,
rich, got some company, only son and smart, smart,
fell in love with me after seeing me on Facebook. He disguised himself by name
Stars, positioning themselves as the poet, the crazed idealist artist
on poetry. And when I realized who he was, I was gobsmacked, even more so he was
it's been a long time like me, a girl with a journalist profession, making a living
from ‘kata’ who fought for his mentally ill family and sister.
I tried to convince myself and said that the event of love
what stands for me is the absurd love, the love that takes place in the age
previous kings where a prince often fell in love with his servant.
Even you might say that the journey of love is attacking
I am a fiction or a story
covert sourced from the dream of a poor girl in order to be entertained
from the life of the father he experienced. It's not real, it's just imagination.
But what happened was not so, it was all real. The man who has
devise all scenarios ranging from establishment as well as tabloid funding
the children he gave me, sat me in the position of Chief Editor, then
tying me to the love he has so many years harbored, the love that
he always manifested into the form of poetry that he sent through messenger
on Fb to me, introduce her name to Bintang, then get me engaged, then,
next the humiliation of the foster brother, and the horror of the papa and
when her mother found out I had a mentally ill sister, it all happened
in a matter of a few months. And then everything changed, I
like being entangled into the treats of a scenario he made. I should have felt
comfortable with that treat. But I always felt strong and inclined,
even think otherwise. I feel freedom and democracy inside
my existence as a human has been cut off. It's not about love or anything
the attributes he has are the main problem for me, but
I love the bohemian mixed artist life like my mom and dad,
free and not confined by bureaucratic rules that sometimes
making us like robots, I was not tempted in the slightest by the treasure
not eaten seven derivatives of his. Glamour appearance and promiscuity
the upper classes are full of pleasantries and binding rules that slash all
my freedom of humanity, severely curbed my life. I am a simple human being
thinking is also simple, suffering must exist and must be faced instead
avoided. I don't like being in a jet set environment even though I do
interviewing them, I like being in marginal life, because I think in
there sincerity and honesty radiated verbally, not pleasantries. Yang
most important of all, I am a free man, free even behind
the smile I spread, the pain and bitterness of life became an everlasting blanket
shadowing myself. But I'm used to it. During my freedom to
determine where my steps are not shackled, then I will feel
“Can't, we have to get engaged, you can't decide so
just!” Beib held my shoulder firmly. My bones want to crumble.
“I told you, I can't get into your life. You're like
the sky and I the land. You're gonna bring a village woman who doesn't
know the rules and procedures of association of the upper middle class, you will be embarrassed
if you are with me.” Reply with a high tone.
“That's what you think. Do you know what a star looks like? I can melt myself
as the Star of Naina. You're just asking me to understand my position
as Hamid Utomo at any given moment, the rest of me is a star, a figure who
you love the one who is so happy with the poems he makes, my love
to you is the love of the poet without any calculation. I'm sincere
love you Naina.” Beib hugged me tight.
We were silent for a moment. I felt his heart beating fast.
Her delicate fingers rubbed my hair. “Don't go from me Naina, please,
I am tired of my own life. Just poetry and you
always wanted. I know how you feel, you cringe when you
your independence is taken away when you come into my life. That wouldn't be
happened baby. I understand very well that in your soul there is a side of artistry
which is so much different from my life. But as humans, not all
is God created not always the same? So too with social life
which is in this world. If you're with me, I'll always protect you, no
there is someone who can bully or disturb you. How much do you keep on
your groove. Trust Naina dear..”.
I listened to Beib's words in silence. That day I thought I had
losing to my ego. The man I always thought of as the Star, the poet
never tired of sending me beautiful poems full of metaphors and diction
make my spirit of life burst, now do not want to let go of his embrace of
my body. I felt her tears on my shoulder. “You're not seducing me,
don't you? Giving me sweet promises that one day you can deny?”
ask slowly. I'm still in prime consciousness, unwilling
washed away by the atmosphere.
Beib lifted my chin. “If I betray you, just kill me. Naina, uh,
if you want to be my wife, I'll set you free to do what you do
like, I mean things related to the world you like. You want to
stay a journalist please, want to hang out with your artist friends I don't
forbid, hang out at places you like to do. But..”
“But what?” my many.
“But there must be me beside you always. We go everywhere should be both.
I'm afraid you've been kidnapped.” Beib looked at my face. It seems he wants to
kissed me, but I dodged it immediately. “OK, fine if you know me
furthermore, you will know how much I love you. I will always
waiting for you to fall in love with me,” she said by hugging me even stronger,
until I'm short of breath. (Connected)
